disc Proclaimed Sanctuary SKRaTCHED!
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Wednesday, June 25, 2003
Mood:Sarcastic
SoC:"Take it all" by Trust Company
Topic: Difficulties

Man...have you ever had that feeling that there is some grand high conspiracy against you? I know I have(and so has Geimer because I do believe he encouraged all my paranoid thoughts I thank him) where does this come from? Whence has these melodramatic teen angst ridden prose taken residence and refuse to pay rent!? I will tell you!

You know...I don't mind working...no..no...I say this springing from the Volunteer work that Columbus High forced on us...I'm thankful for it now as cliche as that may seem. It's just...there are some people in the world (ie Hinnesville) who don't want to work( you know who you are I won't bother pointing you out :twitch::) but still have jobs...blast you with my deepest and sincerest affections attached to that. Me on the other hand...wouldn't mind working(because people I don't know about you but when I started reading Harry Potter...it reminded me of here...in the most intense way..like the rest of my family can be in this house and it doesn't mean a thing to me...and I think the rest of you are in this boat...maybe it's a teen angst thing ) and I need something to focus my mind on. And also since I have no clubs or sports from school to have something for that college resume.Finding Work...That is a Difficulty.

So okay the reason I am stuck in this small box of untold boredom and silence(because no one really talks to one another) is because my mother is trying to deal with the stupidity that is my father's side of the family...which consists of the fact that my father's grandmother is ill and my father's family is insulting us (the whole of us even the man at war )because we're not there at her bed side...does the word...military income...spouse at war...have any meaning for you people? Yes I thought it would her(my father's mother Hilda) on the other had is oblivious to the simple rules and regulations of common sense and rational thinking. So basically my mother is confrencing with the Council of Women(my 6 Aunts, her friend Mohica and my Grandmother Cei) to figure out what to do. Because proper edicate would dictate that we appear and represent my father's interests. But Common Sense would dictate that the last thing on my mother's mind (and mine also) would be to cater to the whims of fools. But...all to keep face...this is a Difficulty.

And I can not drive to work around it...that is a difficulty.

So in another direction in hopes of circumventing the Difficulty of Fools...I have taken to getting together my College Application things. To my grand horror and dismay...the only thing on the UGA website...is the Essays. Now I don't doubt my writing skills...though at times on AIM my structure maybe completely non existant(ask Young Peter) but when I put my mind to it I can some how pull of something. The thing I do doubt is whether I will say what they want to hear. I have never been one to cater to authority in my way of thinking, nor to take sides on any matter. I have always been the child in the grey, the area in between, the sliver of space that no one really wanted to glance at. My caution is firmly rooted in the idea that since all of these essay topics involve opinoins and ideas of oneself that I will say something in complete earnest and they will brand me a...nutcase...to say the least. One of these peoples fine topics is basically what you would fight/die for...now to say family, religion, God, country is all very very over done. I like my idea for this topic...but the thing is will these people recognize the voice of radical thinking and revolution or will they simply write it off as...surcidal. Another is basically talking about your integrity...my idea is that if you have it you needn't publisize it And Finally....talk about your iniative and leadership skills including your strengths and weaknesses........Good God...who comes up with these things? The categories are basically how rational are you in the throwing away of you life, tell me how dishonest you are, or tell me how much of a control freak you can be. This...was by far the most frusterating of Dfficulties.

The sole shread of comfort to be taken out of all of this is that You can't get the UGA Application forms until August...so I have a solid month to figure out the essay and short answer things....and that in my insane quest to find employment I have found a place that may take me. Catch? Oh yeah...This job has been open for a month now...God only knows if someone already has it...More catch? Oh yeah...there's no cut off date on the announcement....so this job appilcation deadline...may have passed...what comfort again?

And so another day dawns on this sad sad sad....little world and the struggle continues to somewhere find a way to advance...with almost groudn zero support from my family ("why are you getting a job?" ~Dad "Can't that wait until later?"~Mom) Yet....when Mom wants to go to Savannah and buy Candles to burn to Saint Michael I go....and when she's asking me for advice on the Family thing...I tell her as a finishing statement..."Well...the choice is up to you but no matter what decision you make I support you." Do you know my parents have never said that to me EVER. And also yesterday at about Midnight she asked me again and I started to laugh and I said something very bitter. ("Sure we can fly across the ocean to cater to people we don't like, but we can't get in the car and drive a few hours and go to Columbus." ) She to say the least did not find the humor.

Okay that's enough of that...I just need to let the Sarcasm out...sarcasm is a good thing...anyway...today I will turn in this application for a job and they will hopefully call me and employ me...before my mom makes the maniac decision to go to Puerto Rico....For no good reason.
Bye Guys
Kim


(SIDE NOTE: If I go I'm not staying in Hilda's house I kid you not I'm friends with the Nun's I will crash at the convent and make rosary beads for everyone:) That is unless Cei asks me to stay with her but her house is kinda full.)

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home

Image hosted by Photobucket.com





















Image hosted by Photobucket.com
       Your DJ: Kimberly
       DJ Type:Femme Fatale
       Skratch Style:Screamo Mellow-dious
       Skratching Since: August 30th 1986
       Club Scene:Macon
       Hear Me:Mercer University
       Rock Me:silent_epiphany01@yahoo.com
       
Do you Speak DJ?

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Whispered Secrets
Sacred Promises
Pressure Prayer
Seraph's Atelier

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
First Year

March 2002
April 2002
May 2002
June 2002
July 2002
August 2002
September 2002
October 2002
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
Second Year

March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
Third Year

March 2004
April 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
Fourth Year

March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
Februrary 2006
Fifth Year

March 2006

April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006


        This blog was designed in Notepad and Adobe Paint Shop        Pro 6 by Kimberly Hernandez on Sunday,March 13th, 2005.        Please do not pilfer, this is the first one I've made in a long time.